I am not an actress

For my Shakespeare class this semester, I have to perform in a group of five a thirty minute performance of some Shakespeare play. We chose Twelfth Night. Ugh. Don't get me wrong -- Twelfth Night is my favorite Shakespeare play. I absolutely love it. However.... I am not an actress. And I'm playing Viola, aka THE LEAD ROLE. She has the second most lines in the play, following a character who we're not even including in our production. Great. Cue bad flashbacks to tenth grade, where I had to perform a soliloquy from any work we had read thus far. I chose to perform something from, you guessed it, Twelfth Night. There's a scene in the play where a couple characters play a practical joke on a servant, Malvolio, who is madly in love with his mistress, Olivia, in which they write him a letter "from her" telling Malvolio how Olivia wants him to act and dress around her. It's a hilarious scene, and I could have had a blast with it.... if I didn't screw it up. I walked up in front of the class, started reciting it, aaand promptly forgot my words in the middle of everything. But did I just go on? Noooope. I stood there, mouth agape, probably looking a lot like Billy the Largemouth Bass or whatever that freaky singing fish was called, hemming and hawing a lot, trying to recover my lines.

Jove knows I love; But who? Lips do... uhhhh.... uhhmmmmmm... 

Yeah. It was bad. Really bad. I completely blanked in front of everyone, jeopardizing my grade and looking like an idiot in front of my crush (who later turned out to be the worst boyfriend I ever had... too bad he didn't get turned off by my floundering).

This brings us full-circle back to now, where I am playing the lead role of Twelfth Night opposite a guy who, you guessed it, I'm all hot for. Fabulous. Not only do I have to memorize lines, but I have to get over my whole stupid nervousness thing I get around guys I am attracted to. Thankfully we have a whole semester to get comfortable with each other before we have to perform, and I am feeling more confident and comfortable around him (probably because, even though he is still hot, he's, well, kind of an idiot. I dated a stupid guy once. I won't do that again.), but it's really one more stress I do not need. We chose our scenes today and we are dividing up the lines over the weekend and starting rehearsals on Wednesday. And, because of this, I am home eating Nutella. From the jar. With a spoon. Don't judge, I need the PEA love chemical because I am stressin hardcore.

I figured I would edit and add this in, because it is ridiculous. I have eaten like a quarter of the Nutella jar. I need help.

It just tastes too good.

That's it, I am putting it back in the kitchen. Ridiculous.