Small victories of the day #4 and #5

#4: I successfully (and accidentally) freaked out my mailman when I walked outside with my face partially painted blue. I had completely forgotten I had the stuff on my face. He looked at me like "WHAT THE FUCK" and sort of backed away, and I looked at him weirdly and walked back in the house. Then I saw my face in the mirror.

#5: I got a weird text from someone I haven't talked to in months that said, and I quote: "Hey send me your last name i knw u." So I sent that to my best friend and our conversation went thusly:

Eric: Don't be a pussy. This seems legit. (referencing this:

Me: IS THERE FREE CANDY INVOLVED?

Eric: Of course. Do it, faggot. (referencing this:  

Me: There's a van that just drove by that looks like a free candy van. Where's the 4chan party van when you need it? (referencing this: 

Eric: Behind you.

Me: OH SHI-

We are awesome and I love us.