So I Think I Might Accidentally Be Watching a Soap Opera

I dunno, I was sitting here not paying attention to the TV and I heard something abnormal and I looked up to overdramatic acting and convoluted storylines.

Oh, Susan Lucci just came on the TV. This is definitely a soap opera.

Okay, anyway...

So today is Memorial Day and what not, and my mom and I were trying to figure out what to do. I suggested a picnic by the bay, which is HUGE and therefore has lots of parking all along it, but she was like "Meh I don't want to deal with crowds" because she is the most impatient, least personable people person I know. So then she suggested Old Town and I was all for Old Town because I love it there and it smells like Mexican food, and I was all prepared for an afternoon of strolling about and window-shopping and maybe buying cigars because they have this sweet little cigar shop with the most awesome, nicest people ever. But THEN, she was like "Oh, let's go to Santee Lakes," and I was very meh about it because I wanted to walk around in civilization and stuff, not in nature today, but since she is the parent, she makes the calls, so Santee Lakes it is.

Or, well, was. Because even though I literally just finished cooking the pad thai for the picnic, we probably aren't going because now she has a headache.

I had a point in all of this, but I didn't get home until 1 am and didn't get to sleep until after 2 and woke up at 6 and then took a nap from like 7-8 so I didn't get much sleep so I'm not in my prime, so to speak.

Okay she came back down the hall and apparently now we're going to Fort Rosecrans/Cabrillo which I'm cool with so this was like the most pointless thing ever. Sorry.

Coffee

I am not sure you can start a rainy morning better than with a hot cup of coffee. I guess the only way it can get better is if it wasn't raining since it's ALMOST JUNE.

But if it has to rain, I'll take the coffee.

Murphy is a whorey cunt pt 2

So I'm supposed to be cleaning my room right now.

It is a mess. I mean, it probably needs a biohazard sign slapped on the door, next to my plastic rosaries our gardener found in his truck and a tiny old license plate from my trike that says my name. There are empty food wrappers, papers (some from last semester...) and clothes strewn everywhere. There's also dust. Lots of it.

So yesterday I figured I'd do the closet. That closet has been in need of a thorough cleaning for years but it's easy to ignore what lies behind closed doors. But no more. It was getting cleaned out, I decided yesterday. I even took the fucking doors off. So I took all of the boxes and dumped then on the floor, tried on a bunch of clothes, threw out a bunch of shit, etc. And I found some WEIRD stuff. In an old backpack, I found play doh I had gotten for Christmas two years ago (Yes, I got play doh for Christmas when I was 19. I love that shit), a Sims game that I literally tore my room apart looking for MULTIPLE times, and a bag of Cheetos. I don't understand myself sometimes.

Aside from all the random stuff I found, remember me mentioning the dust? I literally had to stop cleaning because I could not breathe. I was sneezing the rest of the night, no matter what I did. And I got that awful allergy headache. So not only was my face all puffy and red and sexy, my head felt like it was going to explode. I went to bed at like 9:30 because I could not take the pain anymore. I figured once the allergy sneezes passed in my sleep, the headache would go away. Right?

WRONG.

I woke up with a WORSE headache, combined with a backache and cramps because life loves to fuck with me and decided it would be a good idea to have me wake up in pain and bleeding all over the place (sorry for that image). So I took a little nap. No dice. I took a longer nap. Nope. I drank a huge cup of coffee. Nothing. About a half hour ago, I ate some breakfast and popped four ibuprofen. They are not working yet.

On top of all of this, I STILL don't have a computer.

And my nose feels kind of itchy, like I am going to sneeze.

Murphy is a whorey cunt

So I'm finally done with finals, which means I can stop being a terrible friend and maintain regular contact with those who tolerate me, right? Except my computer is broken, which means I need to rely on my phone for everything. Do you realize how difficult it is to try to type emails of any decent length on a phone? A touchscreen phone at that? Or, even more frustrating, to juggle multiple chat platforms? It's not easy. By the end of the conversation/email, I feel like I have acquired arthritis and carpal tunnel simultaneously.

So now I have to get my computer repaired with money I don't have.

Additionally, we're apparently putting our oldest dog down on Saturday, a decision I disagree with, and Duds, the puppy, keeps attacking both her (the oldest dog) and Spike, my dog. Today it took me yanking Duds by the neck and lots of hard thwaps to the butt to get him off. I mean he was trying to kill Spike for some reason.

I do not understand. Life is supposed to calm down and get better during school breaks.

Dear you

Hey.

You said you had changed, you know. And I really thought you had. I really did. You fed me lies about how you wanted to be a good person for me, and how ashamed you were of what you had done before. But you really aren't, are you? You're still a little man-whore, and all you care about is sex. At least be honest with me, you know? Don't pretend like you care any other way about me other than getting some pussy. I can't believe I almost fell for it, and almost flipped my shit over you like everyone else did.

Well I figured you out. Fuck you for leading me along. Fuck you for feeding me lines that you were trying to change. And fuck you for almost stealing my heart. We will still be friends, but if you think anything else is going to happen, you're sadly mistaken. I can't wait to see the look on your face when I finally get to shoot you down. I hope you fall hard so no other girl gets hurt. Because I see you doing it to one of my friends, too. And I see her, being around less, because she is so busy with you. You will NOT do this to her. I've been feeling down for days because of YOU, and I won't let you do it to her. Fuck. You. Sir.

No love,
Me

PS: Sigh. Now I am just thinking it is me. It is probably just me. I know I suck, you know? I really do. I see people, they're withdrawing from me, the more they get to know me. I am sorry. I am sorry for everything.

THIS IS THE TALE OF CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW

I should be writing an essay right now. I only need to write four pages. FOUR. That is nothing. But instead I am cuddling with Duds and watching The Lonely Island videos because they are hilarious. They came out with a new video on the 7th and I watched it last night, and I have probably watched it twenty times or more so far, you know, instead of doing homework.

This new one features Michael Bolton, and I HATE Michael Bolton. I think his voice is super annoying and he just bothers me a lot. But I was laughing so fucking hard the entire time. I mean, he dresses up like Jack Sparrow. No one pulls off Jack Sparrow like Johnny Depp, and Michael Bolton is no exception to that, but it's really hilarious, especially when he kisses this plastic seagull and then "lets it fly." It's just hilarious.

Pride

I have never been the kind of person who cries at the national anthem or constantly spews patriotism out their ass...

But this picture makes me proud to be American.