I just finished remembering everything my first ex-boyfriend did to me all in one big thought explosion. I haven't thought about that all at once since it happened. Usually when I explain what happened, I say "Oh yeah, he treated me like shit, called me a bitch, stuff like that." Not this time. I wrote it all down, what I could remember, in as best detail as I could get out. I am not good at articulating myself. But now it is out there.
And I am shaking. I am shaking and my stomach hurts and my head feels funny. Possibly from the two shots of bourbon I just slammed. I do not take shots normally. Also I have only eaten a handful of chocolate today. But I am sweating and sneezing and it is like my body is trying to get rid of everything inside me along with my story, like a mass catharsis of my mind, soul and body.
The worst part is that there is still more of my story I need to get out.
Hey, take a deep breath. It will be OK. You will be OK. I am proud of you. And you don't need to finish until you are ready.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I love you.
I have one of these ex-boyfriends too. You are so strong to think about this and work through it. You are absolutely amazing, and I love you.
ReplyDelete