Questions

I had something that I started writing out, but I started thinking and there went THAT whole project.

I never used to be such a thinker. I was never one to sit around and "ponder the mysteries of the universe" or whatever the fuck. I still don't do that, but I am thinking a lot more lately. The problem with thinking is, I never come up with answers to my questions. I only ever come up with more questions.

For example, I remember once when I was dating one of my ex-boyfriends. He was a real philosophizer type, asked questions about everything. The only question I ever had during the course of our relationship was whether or not I should break up with him. I would sit and ponder, list the good parts and the bad parts of our relationship (the bad always outnumbered the good), and come to a decision. Except... trying to answer THAT question would bring up more questions, like "Do I really deserve better?" "Why did I start going out with him in the first place?" "Am I really making this mistake AGAIN?" etc.

Over the past few days (months, really, but a lot more in the past few days), I have come up with a lot of questions that are really bothering me.

Why am I so unmotivated this semester?
What happens if I can't pay my car payment?
What if my mom DOES kick me out? Where will I go?
Am I making the right decisions with my life?
etc.

But the one that is bothering me the most?

How do you tell someone you love them if they don't want to believe you?