Hope

It has been a few days.

Things seem back to normal. The other day she showed she actually does care, at least a little, when she thought I tripped and fell and smacked my head and died or something. I didn't do anything aside from open the door onto my dog's head so it made a loud noise, but it proved that she actually cared enough to get scared I wasn't okay.

The only thing is, I got off my sleeping schedule because I wasn't sleeping well after that, and now I need to try to get back into it. That is The Worst, getting off sleep schedules. I overslept this morning and could not shower. Then I was exhausted at 5 pm but I am kind of awake not and it is almost 11:30.

Today sucked slightly though. An old friend contacted me, except we are not really friends anymore. He had heard I had a bad week and he wanted to check up on me. There is a lot of back story with said ex-friend that I am too physically and mentally tired to explain now, but let's just say there is not exactly good blood between us. So he is asking me what happened, and I tell him I am poorer than dirt and not making enough money to even cover my car payment and my mom drama, and he offers me a loan. That's nice, kinda awkward because we aren't friends anymore and haven't talked in months, but nice. I thanked him and told him I would keep it in mind (except I would NEVER BORROW FROM HIM EVER). Then he follows up with this gem:

Yeah I currently have a job that pays around a bit over $100 an hour and then Cornell is giving me $4500 and then Fafsa is still giving all the money I would have needed for school and living and stuff...And I suck at having money (I bought a $400 tv last weekend and now i have a tv under my bed) so Im really looking for ways to not have access to my own money.

...

Really? I just told you I am working 5 hours a week at 8.50 an hour, and you tell me you are making a hundred bucks an hour? And that Cornell University is giving you $4500 dollars for free? And the FAFSA gave you tons of free financial aid you don't need while you know I only got loans? Really?


Needless to say, I am not too happy at this point, but it gets worse.

Long awkward silence later, he says he should leave to go study for finals (or rather, pretend to study for finals because "he doesn't like making people feel stupid so he has to keep up appearances that he actually works hard"...), and I tell him bye and congrats on making it into Cornell.

Then, this:

Its just a summer program...that only accepts 12 studnets from the nation...and is all paid for...and then they pay me too... :)

Aside from the fact that he is being a braggart,  which I can roll my eyes at and deal with, there goes the money issue. I have to pay for my fucking books, my fucking parking permit, my fucking EVERYTHING except tuition, yet he makes it into an Ivy League school for an exclusive summer program that is all paid for and he earns a stipend too. Really? Really? You are going to bring up money again?

Then when I told him he was lucky, he says that he is just "mexican, poor, first-generation immigrant, and autodidactic genius."

That is when I told him I needed to leave. You do not contact me under the pretense of being concerned and then gloat about your money and your exclusive summer program you were admitted to for free. What the fuck is your problem, for real.

Aside from that minor idiocy, it has been a pretty good day. I am tired and sore, but I am alive. And I have hope.